I said I'd do it, and I'm not one to renege on my word.

The title says it all. HP bites the big one. Sob story first, then propaganda, because there's nothing like putting an imperative after a healthy dose of the argument trio.

My laptop is an HP Pavilion. My parents bought it for me as a graduation present. While it wasn't God's gift to the computer world, it brushed the ceiling of its time- lots of RAM, good hard drive space, an extra wide screen, full keyboard, Nvidia 7600 graphics card, excellent processor, and high def audio. It did everything but julienne, and that might be because I couldn't find the button for it. The point is, this wasn't some bottom-end, off the clearance rack junker. It was brand new.

Most of you have heard this part of the story before. Barely 15 months after receiving this laptop, the screen started flickering and dying (during the first week of university, no less). It was 20-ish days out of warranty, so I had to send it in and pay $300 to get it fixed. Got it back. Just under 90 days later (thankfully this time) the computer crashed. The motherboard needed repairing, but the temporary warranty covered it. I just had to go without a computer for a good two weeks of school. Just over 90 days after that, the same thing happened. Again. The motherboard fried. Called customer support, reached Bangkok, shelled out another $400. Last week, right around 90 days later, I bump the desk and the screen starts flickering again. By this point, I send an angry, yet tactful email to HP corporate, letting them know the story up until this point. Their response? They give me a call. Let me know they're sending me a box to put the laptop in, so it can go to the nice repair place. They'll test it, let me know if it's the motherboard again. If it is, dandy. I'm still within 90 days. If it's the screen or something, they'll call me and let me know how much it will COST to repair it for another 90 day period.

I'm not terribly good with confrontation, and I was already pissed. My dad negotiates stuff for a living, so I let him take the phone. The points he made were basically what I wanted to say: This is unacceptable. A warranty is not an expiration date. Computers are meant to last a good 4-5 years. Not 15 months, and not in a downward spiral of breaking like a fixer-upper car. It showed everything indicative of a lemon. The service representative was terse, unfriendly, and unmoving; if I wanted a repair, it would go as usual. I would pay for anything not covered by temp warranty, and receive a 90 day expir...*ahem* "warranty" on whatever they replaced. All HP products are quality devices. They understand my predicament, and will be more than happy to do whatever is necessary within the bounds of the same thing they've been doing for a year. They made it clear that they did not care if I went to another manufacturer for a replacement machine.

Not only was the original product a piece of junk that broke barely 1 year after purchase, and continued to break after multiple repairs, but HP was entirely unapologetic about it. Every time I sent my baby in for repairs, it came back dirty, the keyboard covered in skin oil and hair, the screen covered in fingerprints, with parts that had a shelf life of an open jar of mayo.

My friends, I promised the HP rep I would do this. He seemed unfazed, so I shall press on.

Never, ever, EVER buy a product from HP. The company is shit on every facet of the customer experience.